tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post7202273958349297128..comments2024-03-27T05:14:56.918-04:00Comments on My Little Slice of Mommie Heaven: Pretty GirlMommieVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01802987098837731695noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-6824177860680566402011-02-15T15:29:31.019-05:002011-02-15T15:29:31.019-05:00I am going to vote overthinking. I call my little...I am going to vote overthinking. I call my little guy "Gorgeous" and "Handsome" and "Beautiful" much of the time. We get the same comments from people we know and people we don't. I often call children "Pretty Girl" or "Handsome" simply because they are. It doesn't mean that they aren't smart or otherwise talented.<br /><br />Now that he is almost 4, if I ask him if he is handsome he will reply "I am handsome and smart and funny and silly and cute". That tells me that they're not all mutually exclusive and that I am doing my job.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01780985644370495877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-41815818030672885502011-02-15T14:42:37.842-05:002011-02-15T14:42:37.842-05:00I really don't know anyone who doesn't hav...I really don't know anyone who doesn't have a "cute" or "pretty" child. People are drawn to babies and toddlers. It is something society is "expected" to say, whether your child is cute or not. Its hard to find an ugly baby or toddler. Some of the cutest toddlers I have found sometimes grow up into less-than-cute kids. I think my children are adorable and pretty as well. And I've been told that by everyone who has met them, seen their pictures, or who have been their day-care providers. But they aren't any cuter than other kids.<br />I agree - your toddler is cute. But no more or less cute than most that I see. If I saw you both on the street, I would say hi and tell you your daughter is pretty. As our society expects it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-48684570258351476182011-02-15T14:41:21.707-05:002011-02-15T14:41:21.707-05:00JM and FMB - I do try to counteract direct comment...JM and FMB - I do try to counteract direct comments. But when it's a name - when it's THE NAME she is called at daycare, while coming in the door, while walking down the hallway, while I'm just trying to get the hell to work, what do you say? I'd be saying "oh and you're smart too, C" the entire morning.<br /><br />Babs - I like your statement about keep telling her how smart she is, but doesn't that reinforce the dichotomy? Out there people think you are pretty and at home mommie thinks you are smart.<br /><br />But I agree with JM, there are advantages to come with being pretty, just like there are disadvantages that come with being plain and fat. I want her to have those advantages.<br /><br />I'm just wondering the best way to build her self esteem in the process.<br /><br />Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts.MommieVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01802987098837731695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-43022380418196969032011-02-15T06:40:03.981-05:002011-02-15T06:40:03.981-05:00I actually kind of agree with you on the one or th...I actually kind of agree with you on the one or the other theory. I don't think it's true for everyone, but certainly for some. Myself included. I think I get a solid B in looks and a solid C in smarts.<br /><br />People also always talking about how beautiful my girl is. They stop us in stores and at restaurants to comment on it. I make sure to tell them "and she's smart too." And when she is playing and does something spectacular I tell her how funny or smart she is.<br /><br />I think it's great that she is smart and want to nurture that, but I also think it's great that she is beautiful. I think it will give her great confidence and sel esteem.<br /><br />So let people tell her how pretty she is. And you just make sure you keep telling her how smart she is.Babshttp://musingsonmotherhood.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-29421607443192481372011-02-15T06:24:08.169-05:002011-02-15T06:24:08.169-05:00My kid is also really good looking, to the point w...My kid is also really good looking, to the point where all anyone ever talks about when they see him is how gorgeous he is. Since he was born, in fact. It's the red hair, the blue eyes, etc.<br /><br />What I do, whenever someone comments on how beautiful he is, is to mention his other traits for him to hear. So when someone says, "That smile! And those EYES! He's so good looking!" I respond with, "Oh, he's very friendly; loves to smile at people. He's really good at listening, too; that's why he's watching you so closely". Or something to that regard - I do it for him, so he knows he's more than pretty, he's smart, a good listener, etc.<br /><br />and he's a BOY! I can't imagine how having a girl would affect things!Betsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11848143041881649504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5321710438703162714.post-60842834759051324542011-02-14T22:16:49.272-05:002011-02-14T22:16:49.272-05:00I am very cautious with this, because I think that...I am very cautious with this, because I think that, as unfair as it is, pretty is an advantage. But the lesson I want JR to learn is that smart is equally as cool. So while she might hear 'pretty' from other people, what she hears from me is 'I'm so proud of you for figuring that out', or 'my bright gorgeous girl' and, you know, stuff like that. Equate pretty and smart hand in hand as much as you can.KitchenCathihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04306681016007457946noreply@blogger.com