Five Stars = The Best, Right?

It's a momentous occasion in the world of the Wee One. A milestone achieved only after the hard work of growing somewhat continuously for over a year.

It is time for a new carseat.

Anyone watching my Twitter feed may have noticed a link to Amazon about a week ago, when I decided to make the big purchase. I researched and read. I wanted something good for extended rear-facing, one that was safe but also comfortable. As we all do, I wanted The Best.

It's difficult to find the answer to What Is The Best. The National-Highway-Traffic-Safety-I-Don't-Remember-What-All-The-Letters-Mean agency rates "Ease Of Use". The theory being that if a child restraint is easy to use, then it is more likely to be properly installed. All carseats on their list meet all the government regs, so it's not a SAFETY rating per se.

That "Ease Of Use" rating? It's as close as you get to any ranking toward Best, folks.

I googled "best car seat". Hey, it was a place to start. This particular seat came up in the search, and when I went to the site, there was a big image touting that they had received the NHTSA's Five Star rating. Awesome.

That's when I found out it's an Ease Of Use rating. Not a Guaranteed To Keep Your Child Alive and In One Piece rating, but ok, we'll go with it.

The Overall Ease Of Use rating comes from a combination of ratings in four categories. I pored through the charts on combination and 3-in-1 seats. If the seat had a 4-star rating but only 2 stars in the "restraint of child" column - as in, "you didn't restrain the child well, but you had great labels and your instructions rock!" then I skipped that one.

(Seriously, go to that 3-in-1 list and scroll down the column marked "Securing The Child". How many one- and two-stars do you see? That's scary.)

Well, basically, I went down the rows and didn't see another seat rated as highly as this one (look at all the stars!) except for the Britax ones. And I didn't want to spend THAT much money, and I just have a philosophical bent against being a Britax Mommy. So that's how I decided. Great, huh?

I spent a couple of days ruminating on my decision, then went back to research more. Basically I liked the seat, and I didn't find anything significant to say another seat was "better" or that there was any reason to not get this seat. Then the comparison shopping began.

I had to have free shipping. That was a must. The price on the company's website and Amazon were the same, and I got free shipping both places, so I went with Amazon. They estimated shipping at 5-9 days, and it came right on Day 5.

Here's where you get to see cute photos of Wee One. I took it out of the box so we could have a look at it. Also, it took up much less room in the middle of the living room when it wasn't in the box. I read the instruction manual (yes, I'm one of those people).


And that's where I started finding the typos. And that's when I started bitching.

Saturday was music class. Last ride in the old seat.


Then Mommy needed new glasses and contacts, so we went to get those. When we got home it was beautiful outside, so Wee One got to play on a blanket in the yard while Mommy cleaned out the car and then installed the car seat.


More bitching.

This seat is like a luxury liner. Trying to park in the backseat of a submarine. Or some kind of twisted analogy like that.

It's big. And my car is small. Now I know why people buy minivans and SUVs when they have kids. If I did end up having "another" before Wee One is big enough to just use the seat as a booster, I'd be in trouble. There isn't enough room on either side to put the Snugride back in. And there isn't enough room behind my seat for either one. And I don't want to buy another vehicle before mine is even paid off. Guess that answers that question, huh.

A post about carseats becomes a post about whether or not to have another baby. Am I off track?

Finally, its in. Wee One goes in.


And starts crying.


And starts melting down.

Clearly, not a fan of the new seat.

A couple of short trips to Nan's to try it out. Crying the whole time, of course. To daycare on Monday was fine, but home was full of crying. Could have something to do with wanting to nurse, too.

I don't think the whole time she was in the Snugride that the straps were as tight at they should have been. First she was small and it was hard to get them tight enough. Then her Nan and Grandpa thought I had them too tight and that I was torturing her, so they "loosened" them. I tightened, Dad loosened. I quit trying to keep them snug, and just started praying we never had to find out what "too loose" meant. It made it easier to get her in and out when they were a little loose.

This car seat has the adjustable harness. There is a button on the bottom that you push and then you can pull the harness straps out. Easy to get her out that way. When you put her in, you pull the strap to cinch the harness back down. You are not supposed to be able to pinch any of the belt in your fingers.

Which, of course, you could when she was in the Snugride.

There are padded shoulder strap protectors. But she's still not quite used to that snug feeling. So its taking some getting used to. But boy, it makes Mommy feel MUCH BETTER that she's protected.


After all that, I'm a little peeved. I spent good money on what I thought was a high end (The Best) carseat. And they can't even put time into editing their stupid instruction manual so that it doesn't have errors? I spent all this time researching and I paid MONEY to this company who can't even write instructions in English sentences?

I bet Britax's instructions were better.
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Usually It Works

I had read a long time ago some brain research that demonstrated subjects were able to focus longer and on increasingly more complex information while listening to Baroque period classical music than while not listening to music or even while listening to other types of music. It appears that the tempos in Baroque period music match certain brain waves, and that is how it helps to facilitate concentration.

I didn't spend the time to track down the original article I read, instead I did a search and found the first link that looked feasible. If I let myself, I could have spent all day finding a single link for this post. I'm trying not to procrastinate THAT much.

I use Pandora quite a bit while at work. At home I have Rhapsody, but at work I am unable to download it, so I use Pandora, since it is web-based. (Yes, Rhapsody has a web-based app, but some glitch keeps it from recognizing my stations even when I log in, and all the people in India that I have talked to in the last 4 years about it haven't been able to fix it. So there.)

I have a Baroque station on Pandora. So when I am seriously stressed out and unable to focus, or when I am seriously freaking out and unable to focus, or when I'm just spacing out and unable to focus, or just generally unable to focus (he he) then I put that station on as background music.

Usually, it helps. I have found that when I have it playing in the background, I am usually more efficient, and I am able to get started on stuff I put off, and keep working on tasks for longer.

This morning? No go. Mozart, and Handel, and all the Telemann trumpet concertos in the world can't save me. I've spent an hour reading mom blogs of women that I don't know, don't have much in common with (one has a cute little girl, tho, so we have that) and have no business reading in the middle of a Monday morning when I have a stack *this* high of other crap I need to do.

Maybe I should read some blog posts about procrastination. That might help me. Right?
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Added: I closed the blog window. But that meant the 43 folders window was the next up. And I clicked a link and read, where there was a link I wanted to read. So I ended up here. And its funny. NOW I'm quitting, tho. I promise.

I think.
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OMG it's a SICKNESS. I thought "I'll just make a to-do list. Then I'll see exactly what I need to work on and I can get started. I have a calendar on Google Calendar, I can go there and type in some to-dos and it will help me get started.

And I've spent another half an hour fiddling with the colors. And then I was going to put "music class" but I thought NO, I can make a calendar with my MommieV email, and merge them, and have a "work" calendar and a "MommieV" calendar, and then I can invite my mom and dad to be part of the Family calendar and ....

And I still HAVE NOT started grading the Monday class' lab exam. From last Monday. Last. Monday.
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Dreading Monday and Its Still Only Sunday

I'm feeling overwhelmed today. I shouldn't be. I have gotten alot done this weekend. It's beautiful out. But I didn't get *enough* done. Enough to not feel overwhelmed.

Friday I went into work - usually I "work from home" on Friday, meaning I spend the day with my beautiful girl and we get very little done. But its close to the end of the semester and I'm quite behind on grading and getting ready for finals. So I took her to drop-in daycare and went to work.

Where my co-workers were feeling incredibly social since it was a beautiful Friday before a major event in the city, so the atmosphere was not one of getting much done.

Saturday the wee one and I fared better at home. We went to music class, got new glasses and contacts for mommy, installed the new (giant) carseat in the backseat of mommy's (tiny) car, and had a cookout at Nan and Grandpa's.

This morning was church, lunch at Nan and Grandpa's, and then Nan offered (thank you!) to watch Wee One while I managed to get the dishes done and the fridge cleaned out and then went to the grocery.

Meals this week will be:
Cheese Ravioli with Tomato and Basil Sauce
Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes
Tuna Noodle Casserole (yes, mom, with peas!)
Beer Brats and Kraut
Mexican Chicken Casserole

But my house is still a royal wreck, and I am still carrying around a tote bag of exams from last week that I need to grade. So despite how much I've managed to accomplish, it's not nearly where I need to be right about now.

So I'm starting the week off feeling stressed out, before Monday morning even starts to roll around.

Three more weeks. Three more weeks. Three more weeks...

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Now I Think Of Things

This past week was Week Of The Young Child, and also Teacher Appreciation week at my Wee One's daycare.

All things about daycare/school are new to me. I don't remember much of my school activities when I was very young. And I thought for years I wasn't going to have children, so I didn't pay attention much. Most of the 'friends' I have associated with in the past few years have been in the "overgrown college party" category - at least until Wee One came along and they showed their true colors. So I can't even learn from their stories about daycare/school

I've felt a little lost when it comes to events that most parents take for granted.

So, while it makes perfect logical sense to me that there would be a Teacher Appreciation Week - and that it would happen in the Spring, near the end of the "school year" - when they gave me a notice at the end of last week saying they would have pretty gift bags set up in the lobby to make it easy for the parents to deposit their gifts, I kindof panicked.

Now if this had happened three weeks ago, before Uncle Sam's direct deposit made my financial life a whole lot rosier, I would have been even more panicked. Instead of just "what to get", it would have been "what to get and how to pay for it." Followed by "MOOOOOOOOOM" like I'm a twelve-year-old.

Luckily I didn't have to borrow any money. But I still had no clue what to get.

Have I mentioned that I'm going a little insane with my teaching schedule, and too many students, and too much to do and not enough time, and not feeling Organized? Throw "panic over Teacher Gifts" into that, and the brain shuts down.

This morning I deposited a very acceptable gift into the displayed gift bags of Wee One's caregivers. And as soon as I dropped them in, it hit me what I should have gotten.

They already think I'm a crunchy mama since we use cloth diapers, so what about a nice handmade lunch bag and reusable sandwich bag set? This mama made me a really cute reusable sandwich bag, and said she could make a matching lunch bag.

You can buy gift tags embedded with wildflower seeds. Once they are done with the tag they can plant it in the ground and wildflowers will grow. Totally cool.

The theme for Tuesday was "spa essentials". How about some handcrafted lavender soap? Or a candle that double as massage oil and skin moisturizer?

Is there a College Professor Appreciation Week?

Shopping

So after my last post about how neurotic I am about paper organizers, I'm looking at my electronic options.

Type A Mom has a list of top mom PDAs. The top one on the list is the Palm TX, which looks promising.

I have T-Mobile. I renewed for two years when I got my fantastically awesome music phone, the Motorola ROKR, before the Wee One was born, and since she's only a year old, that means I'm with T-Mobile for another year. Their best smartphone is the Sidekick, and I think I'm just a little too ... well, OLD ... for that.

I like Betsy's idea of an unlocked Crackberry. Especially since I'm looking for something that can mainly track dates and to-dos. T-Mo carries the Google phone. I just wasn't ready to get a new phone yet. I spent $200 on mine and made a deal with myself that I'd use it until the two years was up.

A Blackberry Pearl looks nice. A pretty blue one. Oooooh.

There's just something nice about flipping pages in a planner, tho, to help you watch the passage of time.

My organizational challenges

So I have this new schedule, which is really intense. I leave the house before dawn, the wee one is in the care of others all day long, while I try to assuage the anxieties of students going through the selective admissions process and taking my required (and pretty difficult) classes. I only have some limited time in the middle of the day to eat, copy handouts, prep for labs, write and/or grade exams, answer student emails. Oh yea, and write in my blog ...

The sheer amount of "to do" details is starting to challenge my organizational system. I've been doing really great at writing down the things that I need to do as they occur to me (hello, sticky notes!) and I've been getting them somewhat done when they need to be. But my students are starting to get annoyed with things I haven't done. They don't care that I teach 25 hours this semester. It's THEIR quiz grade I forgot to post to the online gradebook.

I tried a to-do notebook. I have always bought into the idea that you need ONE single "planner"/"organizer"/calendar/place that you keep all your stuff. When I was a Division Chair, that's how I worked it. And it worked well. I had a huge organizer and I kept everything in it that I needed. Lists of adjunct faculty and their classes, schedules for a number of people, phone numbers. And of course, pages of stuff to do. But I'm no longer in charge of that many people (as a boss, but more as a teacher) and I have so many details to take care of with 4 different lectures and 6 different labs, so a to-do notebook seemed like a good idea. But with a to-do notebook that means I have a calendar AND a to-do notebook to carry around. And guess which one is likely to get lost?

Okay, so the calendar + to-do notebook is a no go. What else?

One system I like is GTD (Getting Things Done). [I have considered doing a series on GTD for mommies. In my spare time :) ] The ideas that I liked were (1) you get everything out of your mind and onto a piece of paper, freeing your mental energy from trying to remember, (2) contexts - GTD is based on making to-do lists in "contexts" - things I need to do the next time I'm at a computer, things I need to do the next time I'm in my kitchen, things I need to do the next time I'm near a phone. I didn't get that into the contexts when I first started the system. Now that I have different lives and don't live in my office so much, I'm starting to see the beauty of it.

The great thing about GTD is that it is more of a behavioral system than a planner system. It is based on behaviors - write things down when you think of them, collect the thoughts and papers that you need to organize as you experience them, once a week go through and sort them out and make lists of things you need to do and where you need to do them. It leaves out the details of the calendar/planner/to-do notebook, and leaves the format up to you. Which is good, because you can get on the internet and read about how lots of other people "implement GTD".

Its not good if none of those people are moms and have no suggestions when you're not sure how to keep track of the myriad of things you have to do in all your different lives.

Before the wee one was born I sized down to a normal sized planner and bought a purse the right size to carry it with me. I really like having an organizer that I can keep with me. The way my brain works, I need to be able to see calendar pages to make plans. If a friend wanted to get together, I can't come up with what my "Saturday" looks like if I'm mired in "Wednesday" details. Having an organizational system means you no longer have to keep details in your head where they make you crazy. But when they're not in your head when you need them ... so I carried my organizer with me and was ready to make plans whenever a conversation struck.

But now I am a Working Mommy. Part of the time I am Mommy - and I can keep my personal stuff in the diaper bag. Wallet, sunglasses, keys, organizer. Part of the time I am Working. Meaning transferring all said items to my work bag. And if I happen to forget one Monday morning to do that ... no lunch for Hungry Working Mommy.

I bought a cute little purse and a cute new wallet that also holds my cell phone. So now I have to carry the diaper bag and the purse, or the work bag and the purse (oh yea, and the breast pump, so I look like a freaking homeless person schlepping all my worldly belongings to and from my car every day). But at least if I have the purse, there is no Hungry Working Mommy.

Cute. Little. Purse. Organizer doesn't fit. Besides, it didn't have enough room to write to-do lists. But it took too much other space with worthless stuff that I wasn't using.

So once again I am assessing my organizational system and trying to figure out how I want to best try to manage all the details of my life. I have left out of this discussion my little foray into electronic organizing. I had an iPaq that was the coolest thing ever - calendar, music, notes at the click of a stylus. Alas, I am unable to sync PDA's with a work computer where my Working Mommy calendar lives, so that is probably not going to be a valid option at this point either.

Someone's going to tell me to buy a Blackberry, I just know it.

I need something small, that can fit into a purse. Something easy to use, so I'll use it. It has to have dates for at least a semester going forward, bonus if it carries dates 12-14 months ahead. I have to be able to write to-dos and things-to-not-forgets as well as big planning ideas like "talk to a lawyer about a will and trust since I'm a single mom" and schtuff like that.

I'm thinking about just doing a stack of notecards. Whadya think? (The actual templates can be found here.)

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Another Thank You

A mama that I love, that I totally respect, that I think is awesome and amazing, wrote a blog post in response to my questions about extended breastfeeding. She is an amazing writer, and I just adore reading her work. Her fans are great folks too, and often have great things to add, so make sure to read the comments as well.

Thank you, Liz. I appreciate you taking the time to answer my question. Once again you have made a difference in the life of a mama.

(OMG I hope she doesn't think I'm a crazy stalker fan. Just a fan. Crazy optional.)

I think the wee one knows that I wrote a blog post about my decision-making regarding continuing to nurse. She has been wanting to nurse every two hours all day. I actually think its because I didn't feed her as much food today. Since we're not "supposed" to be doing baby food purees anymore, but she doesn't really "eat" as much table food - especially when I let her self-feed - then I don't think she ate as much food today as she normally does.

So I might let the thing about purees go for now, and continue to feed them to her while transitioning to table food, because then maybe I won't be up at 1:30 in the morning having nursed her for the third time since we went to sleep :)

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