Confessions

I am wearing a business suit and carrying a mesh teether in my pocket, still wet from ice.

I am eating two-day-old stale falafel at my desk for breakfast. While drinking English Breakfast tea. This is consistent with the college’s latest diversity initiative, I am convinced.

I haven’t done diaper laundry since Saturday night, so I took five disposable diapers to daycare. And didn’t really care that much.

My daughter hasn’t been sleeping and therefore I haven’t been doing any online communication I can’t do from my phone in a minimal number of words filled with typographical errors. Therefore I didn’t realize a post that I had scheduled to publish actually hadn’t been posted, and instead saved to drafts. Blogger does this to me all the time. So I just backdated it. Dishonest, sure. Do I care? See above confession regarding disposable diapers.

However my singular focus on being prepared for classes next week is paying off – I should be totally prepared and have all documents except for quizzes and exams prepared and ready to go. My syllabus is 10 pages long. And my kid slept almost all night last night except for a brief interlude at 2 am (I used the rocking and music crutches. Then I couldn’t go back to sleep until after 4. I HATE THAT.)

If you're up for more confessions, stop by Our Mommyhood today.  There I confess two Mommy Must Have items that I really could not live without.  Go check it out.

I'll be back to my old bloggy self once classes get up and running.  In the meantime, I usually tweet when I'm awake in the middle of the night, so you'll still know what's going on with us :)

Not Pumping

This time last year I was on the verge of starting my new job, which was my return from almost 4 months of maternity leave.  I had an infant that was nursing every 3-4 hours and refused to take a bottle.  And when I say refused ... there was not a woman in the tristate area that could get that child to take milk from a nipple that wasn't her mommie's.  Believe me, they tried.

I had pumped a freezer full of extra milk for my mom, who was going to take on the saintly duty of comforting the nursing addict for the 6 or 7 hours that mommie would be away.  I would be pumping at work, also,so many days she had fresh milk available also.

Every day I packed my work bag, and my pump bag.  Early on I forgot some important parts, so I quickly developed a routine that would help me to remember.  I carried my Pump-In-Style Advanced Backpack like a camel's hump day in and day out from August to May.  Except for the day I forgot it and had to meet a friend on a street corner in downtown Louisville during lunchtime for her to drop it off to me.

I have written about my decision to continue to nurse my daughter past her first birthday, often referred to as extended breastfeeding.  One of my very favorite bloggers in the whole world dedicated a post to answering some of my questions about extended nursing.  I decided that I would continue to nurse her, and let her lead the way on weaning, with the target being the 18 months to 2 years mark.  I had read many mothers' accounts of extended breastfeeding who said that "they will let you know" when they are ready to wean, and often they will just stop on their own.  I read some things written by one mama who said that she thought her son was weaned because he hadn't nursed in weeks, whenever he asked for nursing she gave him a cup and that did the trick at the time so they kept going with that.

Yea, good luck with that around here.  My girl is addicted to the b00b, and it doesn't seem like much will get her off of it.

We are only nursing on average twice a day.  Once in the morning when she wakes up, and once in the late afternoon.  On Thursday we were running late for daycare, so I managed to get out of the morning obligation, but when I picked her up she made the sign that she wanted to nurse (we use the sign for "milk" to mean "nurse") so repeatedly that I sat in the rocker in the infant room to nurse her rather than listen to her scream all the way home in the car.

My milk supply is adjusted well.  I don't wake up with fullness in the morning, which I did the first couple of days when we dropped the evening/bedtime nursing.  The only time I'm ever uncomfortable is when I forget which side I nursed on last and go almost 24 hours without nursing on that side.

What all this means is ... I will not be pumping when I start back to work on Monday.

Really, there isn't any need to.  I can nurse her in the morning before I drop her off to daycare (three days a week) or my mom (two days a week).  My guess is that when we get back into the daily routine of drop offs, that we will begin to drop the morning nursing.  I can nurse her when I pick her up from daycare/mom's in the late afternoon.  After being gone all day she really loves to nurse when I come home.  I imagine it will take a while to drop that nursing time.

I won't need to pump to keep my supply up.  (If I do start having supply issues that might help encourage her to wean anyway.)  I won't need to pump to give her milk during the day, since she has regular (cow's) milk in her cup during the day at daycare.  I haven't pumped all summer (I have one lone bottle of milk in the freezer right now that is just about to expire but I can't bring myself to throw it out.)  It makes complete logical sense that I don't need to pump at work anymore.

Part of me is elated.  My pump bag sits in the corner of the kitchen with parts strewing out of it, unused since the end of May.  I don't need to wash parts, I don't need to pack everything up, I don't need to start a scavenger hunt through my kitchen for the caps to the bottles.  And I don't need to worry about dropping it all on the way out the door in the morning.

But while I am celebrating one less heavy bag to schlepp around daily, making sure I have all the necessary supplies, and not having to watch the clock to make sure I remember to leave enough time to pump before my class ...

... still, I'm really quite sad and feeling a little disoriented that I won't be pumping at work.

When I Grow Up ...

When I was little, I took home extra old books and papers that teachers didn't want anymore.  I would play for hours in my bedroom, walking around the bed "handing out" the papers, then pointing my finger and telling my stuffed animals and dolls the instructions for how the pages should be colored or what the vocabulary words meant.

I thought maybe that meant that I wanted to be a teacher.  Actually, I think it meant that I wanted to tell people what to do.  Now, I do both.

When I left for college my dad gave me some of the best advice anyone has ever given me.  (It's only a little strange that we were both sitting in a hot tub at the time.)  He told me that his highest wish for me was that I would find something that so captured my imagination that I would want to spend the rest of my life learning about it.  Because that is what a career is about.

I found it.  And looking back, the roots were there early on.

I loved rocks.  One of the first books I remember loving was The Field Guide to Rocks and Minerals.  (Second was Harriet the Spy but that doesn't have much to do with me ending up being a Biology Professor.)  There was a gravel path near my house and I would comb the rocks there, wondering if I might find one of the igneous rocks they showed that came from volcanoes.

In Indiana.

So my dad got his wish.  In college, I found that I loved Biology.  I kept taking classes.  What do you do with a Biology degree?  You go to medical school, or you go to graduate school.  At the time I thought I'd be getting married and starting a family, so I opted for graduate school.  More classes.  A dissertation.  (I gloss over the complete hell that it was.  You people don't need to be scarred with the details.)

But I didn't want to be a researcher.

Suddenly, I was highly trained to do something that I didn't want to do.  How did this happen?  How did I get here?

After some (ok, alot of) soul searching, I came to realize ... I Love Science.  I love reading about it and learning about it.  I love talking to other people about it, and hearing them talk about it too.  I just don't love doing it.

So I became a Biology Professor.  I get to read about it and learn about it - science is an ever changing field and I try to keep up on major publications.  I get to talk to other people about it - um, every day in my classes - and I get to hear others talk about it too in seminars and meetings, and even in the hallway.  I can leave the "doing it" to the people who are passionate about making new discoveries, and I can then translate that into a teachable moment.

It's not too far from passing out papers to teddy bears arranged on my bed and explaining the daily assignment.  And it's almost just as fun (on good days.  Again, I am leaving out the scarring details.)



This was a post for Working Mommy Wednesday.  Go see what the other Working Mommys wrote!

And since we always need a photo of the Wee One ... here she is in a wrap during a lecture last fall semester, taken with a student's cell phone.

Nursing Mama Hacks - How To Pack Your Pump Bag

(The issue with the photos being cut off seems to be fixed. Nothing I can do about them being out of focus!)

It's FINALS week! That means just a few more weeks of work and I'm "off" for the SUMMER! Wow, I have schlepped my breast pump with me to work four to five days a week since August. Except the days I forgot it (or parts) and had to call someone in a panic to bring them to me.

This morning while packing my pump bag, it occurred to me that that I have developed a pretty streamlined system. Everything in its place. There was a little bit (or alot) of trial-and-error involved. So I thought I would do a post on how I pack my pump bag - kind of a show-and-tell for any mamas getting ready to schlep their own pump to work every day. For a year.

(OMG, I had NO IDEA how out-of-focus these pictures were until I put them on here. And wow, that pump bag needs a cleaning!)

I got a Pump In Style Advanced as a gift. Actually, I got a much cheaper double electric pump from Wally World as a gift, then I took a breastfeeding class at the hospital where I told it was a piece of c$@p so I returned it. Then when asked what I still needed by a co-worker (who teaches Nursing, and is a veteran breastfeeder and milk donater, so would understand the need for a "high quality" pump) I said a Pump In Style Advanced. And she made it happen.

I have the backpack style. It is the cheapest of the PISA's. And the smallest. So you have to be streamlined to carry your essentials. And extras, since with Mommy Brain you may Forget Something Important.


The bottom of the main part of the bag is formed by the case around the actual pump mechanism. This means there is space on either side of the pump. Space where stuff can fall. And be lost. And sit for months. It's amazing what little crevices the lids and the lid inserts can get into. My solution: that's where I store the small bottles from the freezer kit. (1) It fills up the space so lids and small stuff don't end up falling down there and (2) you're carrying extra bottles with you, so you don't ever have to worry about getting stuck without bottles. I also have slipped a tube of lanolin in there. I don't use lanolin much, but it's there when I have needed it.


In the back of this pocket I keep some of the freezer pouches. Again, that ensures that even if you forget your daily bottles, you have something to pump into. This is also a good place to keep bra pads. I just kept a big box in the bottom of my filing cabinet at work, but keeping some spares here is a good idea.


Caps go in the mesh pouch. I don't normally have this many with me. But they're all clean and I decided to be a showoff. The Evenflo bottles I have come with a two-piece lid. This is good if your little one takes a bottle (mine doesn't) with a standard-size nipple. You can use the collar and insert after you pump, and then the baby can be fed from the same bottle by removing the cap insert and using the collar with a nipple. Since my Wee One never took a bottle, this just means I have to keep up with TWO pieces of a cap instead of just one. But they were cheap.


That stuff all stays in the bag all the time, so no matter what you have backups. Now to pack the bag.


Don't forget the freezer pack. I forget it about a fourth of the time, but I have a fridge in my office so it ends up not being a big deal. I have heard a mama say that she puts her keys in the freezer at night next to the freezer pack so she has to remember it the next morning.

I also pack four bottles. I prefer the big Medela bottles because they hold more than 5 ounces. Today all I have clean are some Evenflo cheap ones I got at Meijer, they hold more than 4 ounces.


The outside of the cooler has a place for a photo of your little one. Take advantage of this. It's amazing what a difference gazing at a photo of your little one does for your letdown. Take a deep breath and smile at your sweetheart. It's a welcome break in your day. Behind the photo I have put a card with my contact information. Some days I leave the pump bag in my office and just carry the cooler home. I tend to carry the cooler with me to my last class of the day, and just in case I were to leave it somewhere, I would want the finder to be able to contact me.


The cooler has a double zipper. When you put the cooler in the pump bag, zip it so it will open on the right. That way you don't have to take it out of the pump bag to get to the bottles or to put the bottles in. Saves a few minutes of time. Also tuck the handle to the back so its not in the way..


ALWAYS put the cooler in right-side up. For a while I was in a hurry and would put it in with the back of the cooler facing downward. Until the day that I didn't have the caps on the bottles tightly enough, and 5 ounces of milk spilled down through the bag and onto the floor in my office. Now I put the cooler flat AND check the caps.

Push the cooler all the way to the left. Now you have space on the right. On the bottom goes a prefold diaper, or burp cloth, or whatever you use to dab off the last few dribbles of milk so they don't drip on your pants and you smell like sour milk the rest of the day. (Not that that's ever happened to me or anything.)

On top of that goes one of these - a hands-free pumping bra. YES, you need one. Two, actually. No, you can't really use them for any other purpose after you wean; No, you probably won't get your money's worth; No, you probably can't sell them online for more than 5 bucks a pop; but YES you need them, and YES you need two.

I only have one. I have been afraid to take it out of the bag and wash it, because I know I won't remember to put it back in the bag. So I've been using it all semester and I just washed it last night. It was pretty gross. Having two means you can alternate - one in the bag and one in the wash.


On top of that will be your breastshields and connectors. Have at least two sets of these also, unless you want to be washing every night. My hospital gave me a kit when I left that had an extra set of shields, connectors, tubing, bottles, and caps. It was awesome. Ask your hospital before you leave what kinds of extras they will give pumping mothers.

I only pump once a day. So I only use mine once, then they are washed at home. If you are pumping more than once a day, you need to clean your shields/connectors between pumping sessions. If you have a pumping room at your work (LUCKY!) then you may have access to a sink where you can have some dish soap and you can wash your parts right after use. Otherwise, Medela makes some disinfecting wipes that you can use to wipe your parts. You will need to do this if you are using them more than once while at work.

If you have a fridge in your office, put your parts in a bag and put them in the fridge. The milk that is on the parts won't spoil in the fridge and you won't have to worry about washing in between use.


The tubing* is coiled up and put in the pocket on the outside, along with a Sharpie for marking dates on freezer pouches. I don't put dates on bottles since they are usually used within a day or two, but if you pump into the small freezer bottles you should date those before freezing. If you pump only one side at a time, coil your tubing separately so you only have to grab one tubing.


There are small pockets on the sides that have Velcro closure. These are good for storing that tiny little envelope of those thin membranes. The membranes are essential for how the pump works (that's how it draws suction) so if you get to work and one has come off in the dishwasher, you're screwed. Keep the extras in your bag. This is a good spot.

The back has a big pocket to keep the instructions with your pump. And apparently, it is a good place to keep loads of crap. I had no idea I had all this crap in this pocket.


There you have it, ladies, the perfect way to pack your pump bag. Well, maybe not perfect. But tried-and-true, that's for sure.

* Another tip I figured out this weekend for cleaning tubing: take a syringe (like you give liquid medicine with) and a bowl of hot, soapy water. Use the syringe to inject the soapy water into the tubing. This will fill up the tubing and ensure that the soap hits the entire length inside the tubing. You can then do the same thing with clear water - although running water from the tap usually rinses it well, it's getting the soapy water in that's usually the challenge. Do NOT pull the ends out of the tubing, you can NOT get them back in. My dad did that day one, and I had to go buy new tubing. They will dry if you hang them from a cabinet doorknob. If not, connect them to your pump and run it for a couple of minutes.

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