A Reminder!

Wear purple today if you stand against gay bullying.  Or, bullying for any reason, I would think.  But the message I got on facebook said if you stand against gay bullying.  So that's our stand for today.  And the Wee One and I are both wearing purple.

Okay, I can't get into dressing up for Halloween, but I can get into dressing me and my child in purple because of some random posting on Facebook that told me to wear purple to express my beliefs?

I know, I know, I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

But I'll have a photo to show you later, so there's that.

Cloth Tushie Tuesday - Confessions of a Cloth Diapering Mama

I seem to be back on track with Cloth Tushie Tuesday (scary, I know!)  Today is: Cloth Diaper Confessions!  Come on, Mama, 'fess up!

Here are some cloth diapering confessions:

1.  I have some regrets about the beginning of my cloth diapering journey.  I regret not cloth diapering from the beginning.  I know it's not a big deal, and it all worked out, but I still wish I'd tried harder to cloth diaper from the start.  I regret only taking three diapers with me to her newborn photo session.  (It was only supposed to last 45 minutes, I thought 3 was plenty).  I ended up running out because she peed, then pooped, then peed and my mom urged me to change her.  So I have photos of her in cloth and photos of her in sposies.  I should have at least put the cover over the sposie so you couldn't see it.  18 months later I still think about these things.

2.  I really love using prefolds and covers.  That's what I prefer using at home.  I don't know why - pockets are so much easier.  But even with a ton of pockets around here for daycare, I'll even sometimes put her in a prefold and cover to take her to daycare in the morning, or change her into a prefold and cover when I get home.

3.  I had two dozen too-small prefolds.  I have a good friend about to deliver a baby.  I had mentioned earlier that I would gift her my prefolds.  But when it came time to do that ... I didn't want to.  I compromised with myself and gave her half.  They're too small for my wee one, I'm not planning another ANYTIME soon, why hang on to stained prefolds?  And now what the heck is she going to do with only 12 prefolds?  But I just couldn't talk myself into letting go of all of them.

4.  Folding diaper laundry makes me feel like I've accomplished something that day.  Occasionally it does feel like a chore, and I have sometimes let them sit a day.  A load finished in the dryer on Sunday, and I didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with ANYTHING (did you see my venting post?).  But then I came home on Monday, folded them, stuffed them, put them away, and I feel like I can conquer the world!

5.  I covet diapers I don't need.  There are new prints for the GroVia diapers (which is a repackaged version of the GroBaby which I hated.)  I'm trying desperately not to buy one.  Or several.  What cute cute (two links) prints!  Rump-a-rooz just came out with new prints (scroll down to eco-owl).  And since people are buying alot of Thirsties Duo wraps, and not as many of their traditional diaper covers anymore, they just released two new prints in the sized covers (scroll down to see Baby Bird Lavendar).  I keep thinking "one more cover isn't a bad thing."  "$10 for a cover is okay, and I get free shipping."  But that RaR is over $20 and the GroVia cover only is $17.

I think that's about all I need to confess to right now!  Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest!  If you have a post and want to link up, click below.  Thanks for stopping by!

Connected

I'm not a "connected" kind of person.  I'm a loner.  I have social anxiety that ranges from mild to paralyzing denial.  Funny that I can stand in front of a room full of people and discuss the structure and function of various body systems and the physiological mechanisms of homeostasis, but I can't manage to have a simple conversation with a person without it turning moderately painful at some point, usually.

However, when you have a Wee One, particularly as a Single Mama, you have to be connected.  You can't do it alone, and it's unfair to your little one for you to even try.

The last couple of days I have felt amazingly connected to some pretty awesome people.  And it's made me ... wait for it ... HAPPY.

HAPPY.  I do things for them, they do things for me, and it brings me JOY.

I'm waiting for the punchline.  Seriously.

A mama that I met through a mutual interest in cloth diapering is due to deliver soon.  I took a huge bag of presents to her shower.  Some of it was used (prefolds, a book, cloth nursing pads, babylegs) and some of it was new (outfits with snapping shirts, newborn microfiber inserts, awesome swaddling blankets.)  She is a writer as her profession, so she's kindof like my hero.  When she wrote me a thank-you note using the word splendiferous, I melted a little inside.

Another friend that I have known for the majority of our lives has a preschooler.  And is a vegetarian.  I've been hearing interviews by book authors on NPR, seeing what some bloggy mamas have to say, and doing a little reading myself.  I stand in the grocery store and think "I don't want to buy cow flesh wrapped in plastic" but then the next thought becomes "so what the heck do I feed my toddler?"  So I asked this dear friend of mine for help.  She spent the entire day peppering me with facebooked and texted questions about certain food preferences, and at the end of the day I had a 5-page encyclopedia on cooking speedy weeknight dinners for a family using no meat.  My mouth was watering at the recipes.  She's going to lend me cookbooks.  I am about to cry (partly because the food instructions were peppered with funnies that totally made me laugh until I had tears.  But also?  Because she is awesome.)

This friend also has some cloth diapers that she borrowed from me after the adoption of a baby girl into her family last fall.  Unfortunately fate is cruel, and the baby girl is no longer in their home, although I know she is still in their hearts.  I hesitatingly asked about the diapers, because I think my friend who is about to deliver might like to have them.  So this weekend she is bringing diapers and a cookbook.  Mommies helping mommies helping mommies.

In the past couple of years, I have wondered what it would be like to live on a commune.  Or in a community where people are more committed to reusing and recycling.  Communities where people are committed to sharing more freely, and not as concerned with getting their money out of something that they bought, like outgrown children's toys.  That can be carried too far.  I don't want all the women in one place raising the babies - I like to be able to pursue my passions as a working mama too.  I just can't help thinking every time I think "I need a _______ " and head out to Target for it, that there's someone on the other side of town going "I need to get that effing _______ out of the garage."

So in the past few days, I have had a mama I know online offer to go on vacation with me so we both get a getaway, but our girls will both be watched over.  I have forwarded a daycare newsletter on shyness to a mama I know online that has a shy little one.  I have begged for vegetarian recipes and gotten a missive of ideas in return.  And I will be forwarding a set of diapers to their third user.  A bunch of mommies that months ago were completely unconnected, now in a web of helping, supporting, sharing, reusing.  These are all really amazing women.  Intelligent, strong, capable, accomplished women that I am proud to affiliate with, proud to surround myself with, proud to have as role models for my Wee One.

It just makes me feel really connected tonight, and I think it's beautiful that can happen.

Excuse me while I go cry sappy PMS tears.  Thanks.

Shopping

I had planned to do this months ago.  But I forgot.  Until I was looking for a photo on my phone and went "oh ya, I had all those cute 'shopping' photos".  So here ya go.

My girl likes to shop.

Productive

This and this really work.  Especially in combination.  I had 11 must-do things on my list for today.  I'm down to 5. 

Trying to move faster than MONDAY so it doesn't catch up with me.

Stuff I've Argued With My Parents About This Weekend

This weekend, I have argued with my father parents over the following topics:

1.  Leaving the Wee One alone in the car for 3.2 seconds while I run inside to grab my cell phone.  He was walking down from his house as I came back out and got in the car with her.  When he got in the car, he did that thing where he says something to the baby instead of directly to me about how I shouldn't leave her alone in the car.  Then he lightly slapped me back and forth on my arm.

I of course was livid.  What was I supposed to do ... get her totally back out of the car to go inside and grab my phone off the couch?  Leave my phone behind?  I don't leave her out there for hours at a time, but for the 20 milliseconds it took me to walk from the front door to the couch, pick up the phone, and walk back out the front door?  A.  Chill out.  And B.  GET THE EFF OFF MY BACK DAD.

2.  Daycare infecting my daughter with various microorganisms.  While yes, my daughter has been sick quite frequently since starting back to daycare, she's been well for almost two weeks.  But, again, she seems to have caught another virus.  Fever, not feeling well, not a very good appetite.  Family Portraits In The Park was ruined because she refused to lift her head off my shoulder, so at breakfast my dad suggests that I should change daycares.

When I point out that she would still be around a large number of snotty-nosed kids at another daycare, he got mad and said that's the only variable I could control.  I don't really know what they expect from me. 

When we talk to doctors, they all say this is normal.  Viruses just run their course, viruses are common this time of year.  Frequent infections might help her immunity later, even.  Do they just say that because they really can't say TAKE YOUR KID OUT OF DAYCARE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU"RE KILLING HER?  Or is it just that it's easier to say "let a virus run its course" when you're a doctor and it's not your kid that's running a fever for three days and won't eat and just wants to cry and lay around?

This morning a rash was added to the list of symptoms, so I took her to the Urgent Care place.  While waiting for the diagnosis of Roseola, and the treatment recommendation of "treat the fever, let the virus run its course", my mother broaches the topic.  She is interested in running an experiment: take Wee One out of circulation - take her out of daycare and limit her exposure to other children for, say, a month.  See if she gets sick.  Then expose her to other children and see if she gets sick.  That will tell us if it's "daycare" or "her immune system" or whatever the problem is.

Despite the obvious major flaws in the experiment, and the fact that I can't keep her away from other people her entire life, I can't afford a nanny, so any other option is going to put her around other kids.

3.  Meeting people on the internet.  Specifically, wanting simply mentioning the option to go on vacation with another bloggy mama that I have not yet met in real life.  Because you know, there are big burly men out there posing on the internet as Not What They Seem in order to invite you to vacation with them, just waiting to take advantage of me and the Wee One.  Her suggestion?  We ALL go on a BIG GROUP vacation.  I lost it.  If I hadn't been driving I would have screamed.  Instead I just tried sarcasm.  Seriously?  My first point was - just because you and dad tag along, if "she" really is a burly pervert, there's not much you can do to protect us.  My second point was that I am not going to let this woman think that  MY GOD I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY PARENTS.
 
Not to mention the fact that I have been reading this woman's blog for years now, since I first found out I was pregnant and found her DIY Pregnancy and her single mom blogs.  She doesn't seem the burley pervert type.  First of all, posting photos of her kid over that long a time would be hard, and second of all, a man would never come up with the awesome nickname of Princess Von Fattybottom.
 
So, I think I need to take a break from the parents after this weekend, and they probably need a break from me, too.  I'm afraid that I'll get another migraine over all of this.  Then I will literally feel like my head is exploding.

Spring Break, 2011

Several years ago, during a busy, stressful (yet child-free) time in my life, I decided to take a vacation for Spring Break.

I love living by the rhythms of the academic year.  But up until that time, Spring Break meant a time to catch up on grading from midterms and a chance to try to get ahead for the remainder of the semester.  Once I became Division Chair, Spring Break often meant meetings to work on schedules and room assignments and other administrative issues.  This particular year, however, we had no meetings scheduled, we had already started on the schedule, and the one obligation required of the administrators could be accomplished if you had an internet connection.

I decided I was going away.

I wanted to go to the beach.  I hadn't been to the beach in a very long time, and that sounded like an ideal vacation.  I had done my taxes, and had money coming to use on the vacation.  I started searching the internet, and found a condo that I could tell was, in fact, directly on the beach, and was in my price range.  I booked it immediately.  (Yes, it's huge.  But also?  On the beach.)  Topsail Beach, North Carolina.

I mentioned it to the drunk womanizer, and he insinuated that he would go with me.  Later, I asked him, and he said that he would go with me.  So when my parents hinted that they would love to go, I basically blew them off, since I would already have "company".  About a week before time to leave for our "vacation", he started making some excuses.  I ended up getting fed up with it, so I told him he was uninvited.  My parents still wanted to go, but I was looking forward to some truly alone time.

So Darby and I packed up, I printed directions and pored over the atlas, and at 3 am one morning with a cooler full of snacks and dog treats, we hit the road. 

It was the best vacation I have ever had.  Ever.  Hands down.  Best thing I have EVER done for myself, was to take that vacation alone.

Despite the frigid March waer temperature, she did a little swimming and generally wore herself out on the beach.

I took tons of books, some cokes (of course), ham and horseradish cheddar cheese sandwiches, and an extra blanket from home.  And the camera, of course.

That was March, 2007. 

I want to go on vacation for Spring Break this year.  This time, I'll take the 'rents.  I'm thinking about going back to the same place.  Or that place that Jellybean Mama showed, holy cow that place was nice.

It will mean about 13 hours in the car with my parents and the Wee One.  We will argue about driving straight through versus stopping in a roach motel on the way.  We will argue about places to eat or taking food for the car.  The toddler will alternately scream and sleep badly and be off schedule the entire time we are there.

But I don't care, as long as I see this again:

Yea, so, never mind.  I finally realized that "green" on their legend doesn't mean "available", it means "BOOKED".  Ooops.  So, I'm taking suggestions.