Sunday, October 17, 2010

Stuff I've Argued With My Parents About This Weekend

This weekend, I have argued with my father parents over the following topics:

1.  Leaving the Wee One alone in the car for 3.2 seconds while I run inside to grab my cell phone.  He was walking down from his house as I came back out and got in the car with her.  When he got in the car, he did that thing where he says something to the baby instead of directly to me about how I shouldn't leave her alone in the car.  Then he lightly slapped me back and forth on my arm.

I of course was livid.  What was I supposed to do ... get her totally back out of the car to go inside and grab my phone off the couch?  Leave my phone behind?  I don't leave her out there for hours at a time, but for the 20 milliseconds it took me to walk from the front door to the couch, pick up the phone, and walk back out the front door?  A.  Chill out.  And B.  GET THE EFF OFF MY BACK DAD.

2.  Daycare infecting my daughter with various microorganisms.  While yes, my daughter has been sick quite frequently since starting back to daycare, she's been well for almost two weeks.  But, again, she seems to have caught another virus.  Fever, not feeling well, not a very good appetite.  Family Portraits In The Park was ruined because she refused to lift her head off my shoulder, so at breakfast my dad suggests that I should change daycares.

When I point out that she would still be around a large number of snotty-nosed kids at another daycare, he got mad and said that's the only variable I could control.  I don't really know what they expect from me. 

When we talk to doctors, they all say this is normal.  Viruses just run their course, viruses are common this time of year.  Frequent infections might help her immunity later, even.  Do they just say that because they really can't say TAKE YOUR KID OUT OF DAYCARE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU"RE KILLING HER?  Or is it just that it's easier to say "let a virus run its course" when you're a doctor and it's not your kid that's running a fever for three days and won't eat and just wants to cry and lay around?

This morning a rash was added to the list of symptoms, so I took her to the Urgent Care place.  While waiting for the diagnosis of Roseola, and the treatment recommendation of "treat the fever, let the virus run its course", my mother broaches the topic.  She is interested in running an experiment: take Wee One out of circulation - take her out of daycare and limit her exposure to other children for, say, a month.  See if she gets sick.  Then expose her to other children and see if she gets sick.  That will tell us if it's "daycare" or "her immune system" or whatever the problem is.

Despite the obvious major flaws in the experiment, and the fact that I can't keep her away from other people her entire life, I can't afford a nanny, so any other option is going to put her around other kids.

3.  Meeting people on the internet.  Specifically, wanting simply mentioning the option to go on vacation with another bloggy mama that I have not yet met in real life.  Because you know, there are big burly men out there posing on the internet as Not What They Seem in order to invite you to vacation with them, just waiting to take advantage of me and the Wee One.  Her suggestion?  We ALL go on a BIG GROUP vacation.  I lost it.  If I hadn't been driving I would have screamed.  Instead I just tried sarcasm.  Seriously?  My first point was - just because you and dad tag along, if "she" really is a burly pervert, there's not much you can do to protect us.  My second point was that I am not going to let this woman think that  MY GOD I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY PARENTS.
Not to mention the fact that I have been reading this woman's blog for years now, since I first found out I was pregnant and found her DIY Pregnancy and her single mom blogs.  She doesn't seem the burley pervert type.  First of all, posting photos of her kid over that long a time would be hard, and second of all, a man would never come up with the awesome nickname of Princess Von Fattybottom.
So, I think I need to take a break from the parents after this weekend, and they probably need a break from me, too.  I'm afraid that I'll get another migraine over all of this.  Then I will literally feel like my head is exploding.


Serifm said...

V, I know from many conversations with you how much you adore your parents and appreciate their support. But this is what's known as Needing Some Space. We specifically bought a house 25 minutes from both sets of parents for this very reason - to eliminate the drop-ins and the opinion-having. It's just hard to assure people who have wiped your butt that you really are a capable adult. Of course, we will soon be having our own battles with grandparent-care, so I can't offer any advice. But I believe your ped when he says it's normal for the baby to have all these viruses. It seems like everyone with toddlers goes through the same thing!

Funky Mama Bird said...

I am on a very extended break from my parents at the moment, so I understand! My topics of contention include:

The fact that I got pregnant and wasn't married at the time.

The fact that we moved out of the state they live in.

The fact that they want me to leave Par and move back near them with the kid.


Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you've had such a crappy weekend with mom and dad. I'm sure having a sick little one clinging to you has taken it's toll, too.

But really, it's normal. You've lived so many years without your parents around, with total privacy and nobody to judge. It's gotta be tough to get used to having them around all the time.

My mom and I have a 24 hour limit of togetherness before one of us contemplates murdering the other.

Taking a break isn't a bad thing, sometimes we all need time to just breathe.

So hang in there, baby! You can do it. After a breath or two of fresh air, you will fell much better.

Lots of hugs headed to you today!


Laraf123 said...

I have similar interactions with my parents. I spend my weekends shuttling the boys between the two of them and listening to their advice. I do need a break. I do need to write about this on my blog. BUT my mom reads it often and I suspect that my dad has happened upon it as well!

Jellybean Mama said...

If it makes you feel any better, if I ever told my parents what was going on in my life I'm pretty sure they'd think you were a big burly pervert as well. Because that's what parents do! Think about Wee One saying, 'Mama, I'm going to go on a trip with someone I've never actually met, it will be fine'. See?
I have a funny idea for a way to reassure your parents, but you have to wait til I'm back home.

Billy said...

First year in daycare is always prone to diseases. So even if you could take her out this year and put her in the next, I think she would still get ill a lot.