Bathtime - A Story In Five Acts

Please Help Me Win SIX Diapers

Hi.  This is me, trying to win free diapers.  Again.

You see, my Wee One has learned about velcro.  Like, how to pull it so it comes undone.  She took her diaper completely off today at her Nan's house.  Of course her Nan laughed at her (who wouldn't?) (but that's positive reinforcement).  So now she thinks its funny to take off her diapers.

So we need more diapers with snap closures.  We have some.  About a day's worth.  Not enough.

I could win SIX diapers.  Like, over a hundred bucks worth of diapers, man.  That would be cool.

And they snap.  Even better.

Will you help me?  Pretty, pretty please?

Go here.  Click "Like".  That's a vote.

Tell all your friends too.  That would be cool.

Thank you!

This is the photo you are looking for on the Knickernappies fan page:

Yea, we won that diaper in a giveaway too.

Some People For You To Go See

I started blogging as a way to record some of my thoughts and the events as they unfold in the life of Me And My Wee One.  I really really really regret not starting sooner, but I am very glad I started when I did.

One of the wonderful aspects of starting a blog has been "meeting" other mama bloggers.  Sure, I read Dooce.  And DaMomma.  And some others that have huge followings, have written books, and pretty much lead the life I dream of - working from home and spending lots of time with their little ones while making money off the words they craft.

But there are other mamas out there that are just as interesting, and have just as much to say.  Making connections with those mamas has been one of the best parts of jumping into the mommy blogging community.  I am on a blogroll here and here.  I have even made international friends!

So go visit some of my new friends.  But please especially go visit Betsy at Funky Mama Bird.  She is very creative - and has a giveaway to prove it.  (But be warned, I REALLY WANT the earrings.  They are BEAUTIFUL.)  So go see her.  Be sure to comment.  But don't worry about the earrings. 

I have dibs.

Tired

Today is my least favorite day of the entire semester.  It is the day that I calculate and post grades.  Invariably there will be students who are disappointed.  I try to remind them throughout the semester that I don't "give" grades, I just add up the points and do the math.  I try to remind them that a grade is a reflection of their work throughout the semester.  But someone will call or email or show up and try to finagle more points, and I hate having to deal with that.  I have had students threaten violence in the past, but that's rare.  More often it's just begging and pleading that becomes annoying. 

This semester has been rough.  I took over teaching the classes of another professor when she needed to take a medical leave of absence.  While the students seemed grateful that their semester could be salvaged - rather than being set back in their timeline for applying to the selective admissions programs - they also began to wheedle me to see how much they could get.  I had been "encouraged" by the Dean to "make any necessary accommodations" to help the students "adjust to the transition".

The previous instructor had already assigned quite a bit of work for the students, some of which she was planning to count in their grade, and some of which would be extra credit.  The first day I walked into the class - with the Dean - to meet a barrage of questions, I was asked if they would be given credit for that work.  I had been unaware of the work that had been assigned and not yet graded, so I simply said "I will make sure that you get credit for the work you have done."  When pressed, my answer was "I had not factored that material into my grading scheme, but since you were assigned it previously, I will make sure that you get credit for it.  It will probably count as extra credit."

Ugh.

She had told them they could have extra credit for giving blood.  She had told them to "make up data" and write a "pretend" lab report analyzing the made up data and she would give them extra credit.

?!?!?!?!?!?!

I am not really an "extra credit" kind of person.  At the academic level of these courses, we're a little past the "extra credit" stage.  If you have the time to work on extra credit, you have the time to study the course material.  This is a content-heavy class, and the students need to know the content to be able to be successful in their academic program and career.  I sure don't want to have a nurse come in who doesn't know her anatomy, but managed to give enough blood to get through her anatomy class.

But I said it.  So I have to do it.  And since I didn't give them a due date, I guess I'll still accept the ones I found slipped under my door when I got here this morning.... This is SO not how I normally do things!

On top of this being my least favorite day of the semester, I am so VERY tired.  The Wee One didn't sleep well.  I believe we may have some teeth coming in.  On top of the allergies or cold or whatever is making her congested and coughing.  The last few nights I haven't been nursing her to sleep.  I nurse her in her room and then we go to bed in my bed.  She moves around and sings and talks, but eventually she lays her head on the pillow next to mine and the next thing I know, she's breathing deeply (or snoring).  Yay!  Last night that happened at 8:30.  Then she was up at 9:30, 10:30, midnight, 2:00, 4:00, 5:30.

Ugh.

At 4:30, when she wasn't able to nurse because she was so congested, I gave her 1 mL of Benadryl.  She finally nursed at 5:30 and went back to sleep.  And stayed asleep through my alarm so I could shower.  But then she didn't want to wake up, and was groggy in the car on the way to daycare.  So she's tired this morning too.

We'll get it worked out.  So far the "not nursing to sleep" thing is working.  I'm glad that I'm taking it in little steps.  It feels very gentle that way.  Even if we are still tired.

The Self Portrait

I got an email from another Single Mama commenting on the self-portrait photos I take of myself and the Wee One. I had never given it much thought until her kind praise of all the photos I have of us together. As a single mother, it is probably more difficult to make sure that you have photos of yourself and your little one together, especially if many outings are just the two of you.

I say probably, because I started out as a single mother. I've never been a part of a couple during my Mothering phase, and so, like many things, that is an assumption that I have made about Life as part of a Couple of Parents versus Life as a Single Mother. Like most assumptions ....

I started out taking self-portraits with my best friend in high school. It was a fun thing that we did that ended up turning into a tradition. She was the maid of honor at my wedding (yes, I was married once, so I know what THAT is like) and late in the evening she reminded me we still needed to take our self-portrait. It is one of the most fun photos from that night.

 (I should scan it and show you what I looked like 12 years before the Wee One came along.)

Now that I have my wee one, I take self-photos pf us constantly. I want her to have photos of her and her mommy together to look at when she grows up.

I highly recommend having professional portraits taken of you and your little one. I treasure some of the family photos we have had taken by our photographer. I also recommend stopping passers-by and asking them to take photos of you and your crew. You're relying on someone else's photography skills with a strange camera, but at least you can get everyone in. But there is nothing like a self-taken photo of the two of you.

Self-photos have a close perspective. They have to - your arms are only so long. The image frames only you and your little one and creates an intimate image (or something like that).

Self-photos reflect fun and humor - to balance a wee one and your camera takes some doing. It also makes it easy for you to forget to smile. Do something funny to make your little one laugh, and you will be smiling for the photo too.

Self-photos aren't formal - on purpose.  The next time you're on a walk around the block with your little one, pull out your cell phone and snap a self-pic.  It's a great way to capture just daily little moments (like me in a nursing bra).

Self-photos take practice. In the digital camera age, its easy to take several and keep the best one. The more you do them, the more you learn if its easier to do with your right or left hand (I obviously prefer my right, since most of these photos have her on my left), you learn to remember to keep the front of the camera flat and facing you so you're not just photographing the tops of your heads, you learn how to hold the camera without covering the flash, etc.

Self-photos help you record. Sometimes when you are asking a stranger to stop and take a photo of you, you are recording a big moment. Life, though, is little moments. Stick out your camera and try to capture one.

I didn't realize how many self-photos I have of me and the Wee One.  Thanks, Lara, for the email.  It motivated me to pull all these together.  I am so glad that I've done this, even without thinking about it.  Some are better than others.  I hope she treasures them all when she is older.

(Like I said, some are better than others!)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!  To all who are thinking, trying, becoming, or are, I wish you a beautiful, love-filled day.

The Plan

I think I have our sleep plan somewhat outlined. Some of this - trying to follow a schedule and trying to feed her as much as possible during the day - we are already doing. Some of it we've done in pieces. May 20th this starts as a comprehensive Sleep Coaching Program.

Preparation:

Room darkening curtains for my room (where we are now) (DONE) and her room (where we hope to end up.)

Get good naps out of her for two days before starting, no matter how you have to get her to do it.

During the day, develop positive bedroom and crib associations. Playtime in the room and in the crib - peek-a-boo, find the bear, books, etc. (Working on this - but she cries if you lay her in her crib for a diaper change.)

Make a "sleep book" to read at bedtime and talk about the upcoming transition. (This is a suggestion for toddlers a little older than my wee one is now - 18 months is the group that suggestion is supposed to help. But even if it doesn't help, it definitely can't hurt.)

Her Routine:

Wake her at 7:00 or 7:30, and have breakfast by 8:00 or 8:15. Morning nap 2 hours after getting up for 1 hour, afternoon nap 3 hours after the first nap for 1.5 hours. Dinner 5:00-6:00, bedtime 7:30-8:00.

Upon waking, have a Big Wake Up. Sing the Wake Up Song and throw open the curtains, to help her learn about morning waking.

Expose her to full-spectrum light in the early afternoon to help set her sleep-wake cycles.

Brush teeth before bath, so if she protests, she isn't getting worked up after a relaxing bath.

Begin to do as much of the bedtime routine as possible in her room. Put on diaper and pajamas, nurse, sing songs, quiet play, read books. Then move into my room just for the "go to bed" part. (Doing this now)

Night wean to one "set-time" feeding (probably 4 am, since that's her big night nursing now) and then eliminate that one. Instead of nursing back to sleep, do the back patting to get her to go back to sleep.  I love that the article is supportive of family bed night weaning.

Once she goes to sleep in my bed, I will sleep in the other room for 3 nights. Then we will put a mattress on the floor in her room, and we will both sleep there for 3 nights. Then for 3 nights, once she goes to sleep I will sleep in the other room. After that transition to her sleeping alone in her room on a mattress, I will start to put her to bed in her crib. I think I may do 3 nights of rocking her to sleep and putting her in the crib pretty much asleep, and then try to move to putting her down "drowsy but awake". At that point I will do the gradual extinction where I sit in a chair next to her bed for 3 nights, then move the chair halfway to the door for 3 nights, then at the doorway for 3 nights, then outside the door for 3 nights.

(Yes, I am aware that this 3-nights thing now takes me almost into July. But I want to do GRADUAL.)

That's what I've put together from all my reading so far. Suggestions are always welcome! I'll keep everyone posted on our progess.

Cloth Diapering 101 - Laundry Routine

I have been meaning to write a post on cloth diaper laundering. I alluded to some of it in the post on wet bags, since what-you-do-with your dirty diapers is kindof the first step in your laundry routine. An email from a friend-of-a-friend on FB (well, now she's my friend too!) got me writing about laundry. And I thought "oh yea, I was gonna write this for the blog".

Washing is both the simplest and hardest part of cloth diapering. When it works, it works. When it doesn't, it drives you crazy.

Do's and Don'ts:

DO start out simple. If what you are doing doesn't work, THEN start experimenting to fix problems. If you have problems, go to the DS forums and post, there are other mams that have fixed the same issues and they can speak to how they did it. Or email me, I'll help if I can.

DON'T use fabric softener. Or anything else that can cause "repelling", or affect the absorbency of the diaper.

DO start with a cold rinse. For breastfed baby poo, this rinse gets the runny poo off the dipes. For babies on formula or solids, you will want to dunk-and-swish, or use a diaper sprayer, before storing in the wet bag. This rinse will get the majority of the "stuff" off the diapers, so the hot water won't set stains. Detergent in this step is optional - I usually put just a little Tide in, or now that we use Thirsties, this is where I use the pre-wash.

DO wash your diapers on hot. Hot water kills germs. Just do it. Use less than the normal amount of detergent - halfway to the first line for Tide powder or liquid, or the recommended amount of Thirsties Super Wash.

DO end with an extra rinse. This will get all the suds out. You don't need 2 or 3 or 4, that becomes overkill. If you need more than one additional rinse, you're using too much detergent.

DO check the rinse water to look for suds. Especially when you are working out exactly how much detergent to use, check to see what the results are. If you still have suds in your last rinse, use less detergent.

DON'T use bleach. Again too harse for baby's skin - and the fabric. Bleach can not only discolor your beautiful diapers, but can break down the fabric. Bleach is very bad for PUL. Oxyclean? Here's my take - NO. A cloth diaper seller has written a booklet that says Oxyclean is great and to use it once a month. I did, and my baby got a rash. A rash that it took multiple washes in a natural detergent to get rid of. Unless you really need it, stay away. If you do use it, make sure you get it all out of your diapers. This may take several washes.

DON'T use Dawn in every wash. I read online that a mama tried this, and it really helped with her stinkies. I tried it and gave my baby a rash. Washing with a squirt of Dawn - or even better, boiling in Dawn - is great for stripping and getting off the errant diaper cream that the babysitter got everywhere. For every wash it's too harsh on your baby's skin.

DO hang your diapers outside to dry every once in a while in the sun. The UV rays in sunlight will kill microorganisms, and so this sometimes helps with the stinkies. Sunlight also bleaches stains out of dipes naturally, so if you have a stain that bothers you, lay the dipe in the sun for several hours.

But, DON'T worry if you dry your diapers in the dryer all the time, it won't hurt them.

(Don't let your infant help you with the folding!)

When I started doing diaper laundry, I used Tide powder. I washed her clothes in Dreft, and her diapers in Tide. She developed a rash that looked like a contact dermatitis. It was all over her chest and back, but not her diaper area. Her doctor asked what detergent we used, and we decided that she was probably sensitive to the fragrance in Dreft. Since she didn't have the rash in her diaper area, he suggested I just wash everything in Tide. Tide for diapers worked for us for a very long time, until I also started using Dawn and Oxyclean, and my Wee One got a rash from an antibiotic. All that happened at the same time, so I can't pinpoint an exact cause. All I know is that it sucked. Around that time, I won the Thirsties cloth diaper washes in a giveaway. The diapers accidentally got washed several times, and on the next wearing ... NO RASH.

It's no secret that I love Thirsties products. I loved the detergent in the beginning. Now I'm kinda on the fence. Because it's a natural detergent, you don't get that strong "fresh laundry" smell when you pull them out of the dryer. And I NEVER got stains with Tide ... and I do with Thirsties. But I keep reminding myself - they're DIAPERS. Maybe when I'm off in a couple of weeks we'll do a day in the sun and see what we can do.

(D'ya like how the Tide bottle is peeking out from behind the new Thirsties bottles?  Like its been displaced or something.  Ah, symbolism!)

Added:  As always, I wrote this post from my perspective as a single mama.  I should add another DO for mamas with parenting partners or other folks living with them.  DO either (a) make sure your partner is well versed in diaper laundry, or (b) agree with them that you will be in charge of the diaper laundry.  I have read many stories online of an errant hubby ruining a diaper by thinking he is "helping".  When I was staying with my parents, my dad "helped" by putting the diapers in the dryer - only they had just been through a rinse, and not a wash, so they got a little stained.  One idea I had was to put a dry-erase board near the washer, so you can write what "step" the diapers are on.  That way another person helping with the laundry will know they need another rinse before drying, or that they haven't even been washed yet, etc.  If you are sharing diaper responsibilities, this might be an idea.  I just opted to tell my dad he didn't have to "help" with the laundry anymore!