WARNING: This post contains profanity. Not suitable for the young 'ens. Except my young 'en is the one speaking ....
So yesterday my mom, my kid, my godmother, and I, took a road trip. 1.5 hour drive to an outlet mall, hours of shopping and eating, then the drive home. It was fun. Until the kid started screaming. Then, not so fun anymore.
We parked the car when we got there, and I got the kid out and set her down.
She said "fuck".
We walk into a cooking store. "Fuck". A friendly gentleman gives me a knowing look. I make a mental note not to say anything profane ever again ever-ever-ever-in-my-life-not-even-after-she's-21-and-moved-out-please-God-don't-let-my-mom-hear-her-say-fuck-in-the-store.
The child starts running in the direction of a display, and repeats "fuck, fuck, fuck". I am dying. Where is my mother? Please don't stare, judgemental strangers.
She walks up to a display of kid's aprons. She points, and says "fuck".
Pointing? To a frog.
Not "fuck", "frog".
Her version of "duck" and "dog" sound nothing alike, so why her version of "frog" sounds like "fuck", I have no idea.
But if you hear my kid say "fuck", look around for a frog.