I wrote a whole post a while back about the situations, choices, experiences, etc, that led me to being a single mother. Then I canned it. It has too much personal information about people that haven't agreed to have their personal information on the internet. (Mostly because I don't want them to know about this blog, and mostly because I don't want to bring up the conversation.)
But I struggle with some questions. I'd love to revisit the post, because I'm looking for some good advice and affirmation from some of the Choice Moms who did things "the right way" (in my mind). Like having actual donor agreements or using a physician so its legal.
I did have part of the conversation with Jellybean Mama, but we were both chasing toddlers around the beach and shivering, so I never really got her thoughts on the questions that were the important part of the conversation. We mostly shared "what we would do next time".
I'm still not ready to put the post up. Maybe one night this summer after too many margaritas you'll see it.
In the meantime, if you're also struggling with "daddy question" angst and bio-dad/known donor issues, there are some decent posts up at singlemommyhood.com, specifically here, here, and here (that last one makes me feel better. At least I don't have THAT issue to worry about. I don't think.)
We are doing the "every family is different" thing. We read Todd Parr's The Family Book all the time. She's been talking about daddies, since that's obviously a topic at daycare. I just reply with "we don't have a daddy in our family, we have a Grandpa, though, and he loves us very much". Others have heard me say the "we don't have a daddy in our family. Every family is different, right? And we have a Nan and a Grandpa and an Aunt Patti and ..." and commended me for the skill with which I handled the conversation. (Totally, planned, baby, that's the secret!). So maybe I"m laying good groundwork for when the questions get really hard.