Sunday, February 14, 2010

I suck at V Day

I forgot that my parents still celebrate Valentine's Day.

I don't happen to celebrate the non-holiday. I think it s stupid waste of time. I was also of this opinion when I was in serious relationships, and even the one year that I was married on Valentine's Day, so it's not like I'm just a bitter single woman bemoaning my fate on the romance holiday. I've been bitter even when I wasn't single.

It's stupid to celebrate your relationship, or romance, on just a single day anyway. Guys seem to think you can be an egghead (or worse) 364 days a year and remember chocolates and roses one day (two if you have an anniversary to remember) and you're ok. Women judge men by what they receive, as if their entire relationship is reduced to him managing to mindread your hints for the perfect gift. Is any of this reflective of HEALTHY human relations?

I've been out of a serious relationship for ... several years now. My last "relationship" was with the cheating womanizer. We started in June, and I learned of the cheating womanizing thing a few months later, so we didn't even have a Valentine's Day together. Most of my friends know I'm rather apathetic about the day, so it's no big deal in my world. I think it's a big waste the amount of paper that will get exchanged and then thrown away in the name of all of this nonsense. Poor trees. But beyond that, it's just another day and I'm over all of it.

So I show up at my parent's house this morning for coffee with the wee one in arms. To two small packages with cards in my father's handwriting on the dining room table and my mother packing a red bag with gifts and cards to bring in. Dad bought us chocolates from Schimpff's downtown, and mother bought me some dishes that I much needed for the kitchen. Cards for me and mom and Caitlin.

And I was empty handed. Felt. Like. Crap.

Caitlin and I had dinner together last night. As I fed her pureed sweet potatoes with turkey I thanked her for having Valentine's evening dinner with me (like she ever had a choice) and I told her how much I loved her. So it's not like I'm completely an unfeeling heel. (Not really).

I just don't celebrate this particular day.

So tomorrow I'm totally buying discount cards to give them next year. Maybe shopping and finding sales will make me feel better about giving in. But I'm not showing up empty handed next year. No guilt for me next year!

Valentine's Day has had its upside before. That was the weekend, in 2004, when Darwin Kat came into my life. Adorable, sweet, lovable, precious kitty. I miss him so much. This weekend was always my reminder to tell him the story of how he came to be with me. And he usually got homemade salmon treats. Miss you, kitty.

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