Sunday, June 26, 2011

I'm a Freaking HERO Mom

I don't like bugs.  (There are certain people who know me well who are rolling around on the floor laughing their asses off at the sheer understatement of that sentence.)

I have been known to shower in a different (much smaller) bathroom because a bug is slowly dying in my main shower because I don't want to kill/touch/deal with it.

I have been known to scream bloody murder at the sight of a harmless little spider.

I have been known to try to bang a bug with something heavy, miss, crawl up in a ball on the floor and cry until someone else kills it and removes the carcass.

(Yes, I am a Biologist.  I'd rather deal with people's body parts and microscopic organisms than a bug any day of the week.  Thanks.)

However ...

I now have a daughter.  And a house with a basement.  I can no longer scream bloody murder when I spy a bug.  In fact, I have been trying to calmly hide all fear of things-with-more-legs-than-me-that-can-move-faster-than-me-and-chase-me-in-my-nightmares from my daughter.  I don't want to teach her to be afraid - if she's going to be squeamish about bugs, she can find that out on her own.

But then, I went a step further.

I bought a Bug Kit.  A plastic box with a magnifying glass in the lid, a net for catching flying insects and little plastic tweezers.

I had put it away with some post-birthday stuff and she found it one day.

I took her outside and helped her look for bugs.

I even picked up a worm and a bug with the tweezers and put them in the bug box.

See, magnifyer.

The bug kept flipping over on its back.  I put the leaf in there to help it stay upright.

The worm was stretching out and showing off for the camera.
Then when she lost interest in the bugs, I put them back in the garden.

Then I scrubbed my freaking hands until they were red.

And had a nightmare about a tarantula.


Funky Mama Bird said...

I taught my little boy to be my bug assassin for me. When he sees a bug he goes, "Buggy!" then grabs a shoe and demolishes it.
In fact, when his best friend (a little girl) was over one day, an ant crawled too close to her and she freaked out, so he ran over and told her, "OK, Gigi! No buggy!" then whacked it with the palm of his hand until it was dead. It was hilarious.

I also keep a can of wasp bomb nearby at all times so I can spray anything that is truly scary from a distance of 20 feet.

Serifm said...

V, mad props to you.

MommieV said...

FMB, I still think about your Huntsman every time I go the basement and see a spider.

I'm considering doing sex selection for my next kid just to have a boy in the house to kill spiders and bugs.