Thursday, May 6, 2010

At least they gave me the option to "ignore"

I just ordered my daughter's birth certificate online.  I thought that they'd at least give you one complimentary copy on the event of her birth.  Nope.  So I've been meaning to do it for ... a year now.

My insurance company is forcing everyone to prove their dependents are legit.  So I buckled down like the responsible mommie I am, and spent $8 extra ordering it online rather than spending however-much-a-stamp-costs-these-days to mail a check.

My daughter was born in Kentucky.  When I first submitted the birth record form to the hospital during my pre-admission appointment, the "Father" information was left blank.  I then had to sit through a lecture about how my child has rights, and this is a chance for me to name the father because my child has rights.  Rights to social security benefits, rights to child support money.  Rights.  Because I then still refused to fill in any information, I was given a brochure that said the same, and asked to sign a form acknowledging that I had indeed sat through the lecture, and I had indeed been given the brochure, and I did indeed know that my daughter has rights.

I, apparently, do not have the right to not be BADGERED by the Commonwealth of Kentucky regarding my choices, but ok.  I understand there are alot of women who might not have made the same choices, and they might really want/need to be told their child has RIGHTS.  It's a great system.

Except for the badgering part.

So I'm online putting in all kinds of information to prove that I am who I say I am, that I am this person's mother, that I have a right to get a copy of her birth certificate.  What's her name, where was she born, name of the city, name of the hospital, date, mother's name, father's name.

It wouldn't let me leave it blank.  I tried.  I put in my name and clicked "continue" and got a big box that said I'd left something blank.  I tabbed through those fields in the hopes that would do it, and I still got the big box.  On a whim, I put in "none" for the first name and "none" for the last name.  It took that.

So my daughter's father's name is None None.

Then I got the following message:
The last name of the Person the certificate is for and the Mother's Maiden name are the same. Typically these names are different. Please correct or check the Ignore box below.

Typically these names are different.  Typically a baby is not given her mother's name.  Typically a woman is stripped of her identity when a man possesses her and stamps his brand on her, and that brand is stamped on all the children she bears for him, and her name disappears into the ether because she and her children are now His.

I have tons of philosophical thoughts on the matter that are too jumbled in my brain to flow as prose.  I guess I will simply share this as an example of the events in the life of a Single Mother.

And now for photos, since you sat through that whole rant. 

Prettiest porch monkey in the world.

The only hint that she has a fever is her flushed cheeks.


Funky Mama Bird said...

What a pain! We went through something similar. We got married AFTER the kid was born. So Par had to sign about 16 documents saying that he understood that if went on the birth certificate in MA, that he understood that that made him responsible, blah, blah blah. I had to sign something swearing up and down that this was the father of my child, yada yada. And the worst part is that there is a clause in place for people like us, who get married within a year of birth. But the freaking hospital wouldn't let us go home unless Par signed his life away. It was insane.

Laraf123 said...

Oh boy, I went through similiar headaches (and I don't think they're over). Too many red tape details to list here but you've inspired me to blog about it sometime soon. I don't really care how many hoops I have to jump through but I don't want these bureaucratic snafus to trouble my children. Hope you get your daughter's certificate with no further badgering!

MommieV said...

Betsy - Nice to know they don't care about the clause specifically designed for situations like yours!!

Lara - I'd like to read about your experiences. I'm going to go ahead and get her a passport too. I heard a scary story that a friends of a friends's kid can't leave the country because they can't find his dad to give permission for him to leave. I imagine in that case there are other factors involved. Wee One's father has said he would write a letter that I can carry that says she can leave the country with me. It will REALLY make me mad if I have to do that.

Billy said...

How so narrow minded! URG!
Here, btw, as far as I understand, until not so long ago if you didn't fill in the father's name, it was suggested that you write your own father's name!. Thankfully the law now states that the mother can leave that square blank.

As for a passport - because I want my child to have a foriegn one (in addition to an Israeli one), I asked my RE to sign a letter stating I conceived from an unknown sperm donor (still have to ask the bank itself to sign such a letter), so I hope the 'no dad' won't be a problem.