Saturday, July 3, 2010

In Search Of Books

(This is related to my post yesterday about the difficulty of single mothers finding appropriate "fill-in" baby books.  But I thought it a different enough topic that I wrote it separately.)

One of the things I am struggling with as a single mom is ... what to do about all the Daddy "stuff" in the world?  We go to Music Together classes and sing songs where verses about mommies alternate with verses about daddies.  We go to sign language class and learn the sign for mommy and the sign for daddy.  We read a bedtime book that has mommy giving a bath and daddy reading a book.

There just doesn't seem to be much of a model in everyday life of a family that looks like ours.  At least not in the books we are reading, the stories we are reading, or the pictures we are seeing.

So I'm searching for bedtime books that have mommy giving a bath and then mommy reading the books, because that's what we do. 

I'm prepared for the questions.  I have practiced "Every family is different, sweetie.  Some families have a mommy and a daddy, but some families just have a daddy, or just have a mommie.  Some families have two mommies and some have two daddies.  Our family is a mommie and a Nan and a Grandpa.  And we love you very very much."  And I think I can almost pull it off.

But to be able to read books to her where it doesn't seem strange or out-of-the-ordinary to just have a mommy would be nice.  To be able to read books where you don't cringe at the inevitable daddy part would be a welcome addition.

Unfortunately, I'm not finding much.  It's hard to search Amazon, because it seems to be such a non-issue to them that they don't even categorize the books on whether or not there is a daddy character.  I've come across some blog posts here and here which are a great start.  Any other suggestions would be welcome.

I guess I just want a book that says "yes, it's just me and you kid.  But that's OK."

A related, but separate topic is how to discuss with your children how they actually came to be.  I did it the old fashioned way, so I don't have to practice saying "donor sperm" to my daughter (thank GOD!).  This site was recommended to me for books about IVF, donor egg, donor sperm, and lots more.  They have single dad books too.

So if you know of any good books on any topic, including bedtime, that have a single parent character, please send them my way.  Thanks!


Funky Mama Bird said...

A few books we know of over here are:
WHAT DO YOU LOVE? - and it mentions in the description that's it's good for single mothers since no father is shown.

We love "Hug" here, as well, which is also just a mother. Also, Time for Sleep is just mothers and babies.

There is also of course, Are You My Mother?

And this one: Do I Have a Daddy: A Story About a Single-Parent Child with a Special Section for Single Mothers and Fathers

Good luck!

Funky Mama Bird said...

My husband just came running into the room to tell me to let you know about:

"When Mama comes home tonight" Apparently it's about a single working mother, and in his words, "It's a really beautiful book".
It was illustrated by the same person who illustrated Time for Sleep (which is what made him think of it; Gunne was shoving the book at him when he remembered reading the first book to his daughter when she was little.)

MommieV said...

The Viking Rocks! Thanks for some great suggestions!

Serifm said...

When Mama Gets Home
Horton Hatches the Egg
Good Dog, Carl
Hush, Little Dragon
Mama, Mama
Mama's Right Here
Snuggle Puppy
I THINK most of the Beatrix Potter and Winnie the Pooh stories are moms only.
The Adventures of Little Wombat
Two to Cuddle
Mommy's Best Kisses

Serifm said...

Oh, also Stellaluna, Skippyjon Jones, and Eloise.

Serifm said...

Where the Wild Things Are, Mother's Lap, Coming to Tea, Lola at the Library, Llama Llama Red Pajama, Llama Llama Misses Mama, Llama Llama Mad at Mama...

hopeful said...

Thanks for bringing up this topic V. I hadn't even thought about it. And thank you to the pp for all their suggestions. I just copied them all down!
Happy 4th!

Serifm said...

Mama Loves Me, I Love You Because You're You, Goodnight Little Pookie, I Love You Stinky Face, and How Will We Get to the Beach?

OK, I think I'm done now. :-D

Laraf123 said...

Was going to suggest, "When Mama Comes Home Tonight" and the Mama, Mama, Llama books but someone beat me to it!

FruitFish said...

Thanks for this post--I went ahead and wrote down everyone's responses into my choice mom notebook!

Laraf123 said...

As I was helping clean up the BIG mess my sons made in emptying the entire bookshelf, I came across some titles I had forgotten:
I Love You Because You're You
by Liza Baker
Because You Are My Baby by Sherry North.