Thursday, October 14, 2010

If You're A SMC, Don't Buy This Book

My Mom bought this book at the Christian Bookstore when the Wee One was little.  It's a sweet little book, full of some mommy-isms.  It is written by a man, but he has to make money some way too, right?

I was even a little heartwarmed that there was a whole section for Single Mamas.

Until I read this:

It says: "Being a single mom means knowing that, while two-parent homes are best for children, life doesn't always work out that way."

I'm sorry, I vehemently disagree.  Two-parent homes are NOT best for children.

Read this, and tell me that having a father was better for that child than being in my household.  Read this and tell me that a two-parent household is better for that child than having a single mother like me, or like all the other SMC's whose blogs I read.


And given the obviously conservative views of the author, does he really think that two lesbian parents are better than my situation, or two gay daddies are better than one single mommie?  (I read somehwhere there is research that shows that children of two lesbian mommies score better on tests and have some other positives.  I should find it to link.  Too busy.  Also, I've said before that perhaps I should try the two mommies thing.  Not right now, though.)  Back to the point - would this conservative think that two women or two men would be better households than mine?  I don't think he would.  But there he writes, "knowing two parent homes are best for children".  No, I'm sorry, I don't know that.  In fact, I believe the opposite.  I believe that two people in a home who have emotional issues, animosity and anger, or substance abuse issues can be more detrimental to a child than a parent who loves and provides and cares for them, and surrounds their child with an extended support system.

And I won't even go into the fact that the very next paragraph is about a "new relationship".  Because that's FIRST on the mind of every single mama, isn't it?  OMG, I have to be in another relationship right now.  Because THAT'S just the BEST thing for my little one and me, isn't it?  GOD FORBID it just be the two of us in a healthy and happy home environment.


Candace said...

That makes me mad thinking about it! Seriously, especially where I live being a single mom is not a good thing... everyone tells me everyday how adoption would have been better so he has a dad in the picture... grrr

Funky Mama Bird said...

I'm not single and I got pissed reading that!

I've said a million and one times, and I will say it a million and one plus to all the asshats and decry divorce et. al. My biological parents should never have married, but if they hadn't been divorced, and I hadn't been raised by a single mother for the first 10 years of my life? Things would have been a hella lot uglier than they were.

Serifm said...

The whole thing looks condescending to me. It's written by a man, and it's pink and full of cliches about women and mommies? Gag me with a spoon.

This is why I am still Christian, but no longer conservative. I don't believe women are incomplete without men. (Well, also because I am not anti-planet, anti-gay, anti-poor people, anti-education, anti-science...somebody stop me!)

Laraf123 said...

Having two parents does not make a family healthy. Hard work, honesty, mutual respect and love make a healthy family. There are wonderful SMC families and not so good ones. There are thriving two parent families and there are horrible, abusive ones. Why is this still a one-size-fits-all debate? It's 2010, people.
No matter how "open and accepting" conservative Christians say they are, I've yet to meet one. This author simply confirms the stereotype in my opinion.

Serifm said...

@Laraf123. That's the problem. As long as you're categorizing and judging people who don't meet your crappy, superficial standards, you're approaching life with your arms folded across your chest, instead of flung wide open to love people. You know, like Jesus.

MommieV said...

Good imagery, S.